Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Found your dick twin last night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
