The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize