No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
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He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
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I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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