thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
