Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
