Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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