explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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