so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
