Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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