god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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