Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
