You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
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I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Boobs speak an international language.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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