you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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