i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
