If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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