its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
