I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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