just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
