Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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