Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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