dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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