that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
