Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
