he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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