Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
