Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
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