well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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