her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
