Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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