Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
