I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.