Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Houston, we have a blender
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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