wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.