Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
What drink are we having for lunch?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?