I'm so fucking centered right now
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?