Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood

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(631): sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood http://tfl.nu/dhuu

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(850): View more from Florida

dude i doubt hes gay

(1-850): View more from Florida

I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!

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(850): dude i doubt hes gay (1-850): I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH! http://tfl.nu/cmky

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(818): View more from California

I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar

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(818): I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar http://tfl.nu/o7a0

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar

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(317): Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar http://tfl.nu/plcg

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm so horny

(913): View more from Kansas

I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect

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(816): I'm so horny (913): I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect http://tfl.nu/ggyh

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(847): View more from Illinois

If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen

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(847): If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen http://tfl.nu/f9bs

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(817): View more from Texas

Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.

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(817): Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was. http://tfl.nu/0op6

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(909): View more from California

Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?

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(909): Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person? http://tfl.nu/yet0

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(616): View more from Michigan

No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....

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(616): No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet.... http://tfl.nu/e90k

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

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(215): we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me. http://tfl.nu/nfi8

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(626): View more from California

I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for

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(626): I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for http://tfl.nu/u8ph

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(317): View more from Indiana

Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Impressive. I approve.

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(317): Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition (1-317): Impressive. I approve. http://tfl.nu/uf2f

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.

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(865): I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck. http://tfl.nu/zkmt

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(831): View more from California

Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out

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(831): Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out http://tfl.nu/e8gp

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(227): View more from Maryland

Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake

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(227): Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake http://tfl.nu/ij8f

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