belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
