Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
