so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
