I showed him my bush... on skype.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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