We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
