'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
