You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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