another moral hangover. fuck.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
