I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My ass is underappreciated
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
