shes about as inviting as chlamydia
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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