I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
