i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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