he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize