We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
