Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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