No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
