it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
