yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
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Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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