I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
