so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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