when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Couch. On fire.
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