don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
