Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize