I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i believe in u and ur pee
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
