i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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